Saturday, January 8, 2011

Freedom in a stereotype

Today I was a stereotype. in a good way that made me laugh. When I got dressed today I had to wear a dress since I needed to do laundry and my "regular" clothes we all dirty. So, I chose a dress that I know my husband likes. Its a bit form fitting and the girls show more than they usually do, although it is very comfortable.

I am pregnant and I never wear shoes at home, I hate them. So, there I was in my sexy dress, barefoot and pregnant while doing housework. It made me laugh when I realized it. It felt good to fit into one of the stereotypes for a day. My husband loved it and I got a bit more affection than normal. It was a winning situation for both of us.

I think as women we are afraid to put ourselves out there like that sometimes. Even for our husbands. What is it we are afraid of? A neighbor seeing us? Who cares if they do, its your business what you do in your house, not theirs. Are we afraid of looking too good and making our husbands expect it all the time? I doubt he would but what's wrong with looking good for the man you love? Or are we just afraid of coming out of our shell? What would happen if we felt good about how we look all the time or if our husband always enjoyed what he saw?

Maybe we just need to treasure ourselves a bit more and be willing to sex it up a bit now and then. What would happen if every woman suddenly loved herself? If every woman suddenly stopped caring what other women thought and dressed for her and her husband? I think there would be a lot more happy women, happy husbands and as a result a lot happier marriages.

Why are we so afraid to love ourselves? I think it goes back to the heart of my last post. Too many of us are told as children that there is something wrong with being feminine. We are told to cover our breasts even when they are hard to hide like mine are. "Wear a vest with that shirt so your breasts don't stick out too much." Yes, I heard that one. I wore vests throughout much of my teen years trying to hide my Cs. I'm sorry but at 14 its hard to hide the fact that your breasts are size C. Our legs are to be covered above the knee or more just so we don't "Cause a brother to stumble." Too much neck, too much arm, too much, too much!

While I believe that the world we live in far undervalues modesty, I also believe that the church overvalues it. There is nothing wrong with being beautiful, nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful. I also believe there is nothing wrong with hoping a good guy will notice when you do look good. God created that desire in us and the desire in men to see us. In a healthy way. In a well dressed, not so covered as to be a nun but not so uncovered as to be a hooker, way.

If a man is looking at me in a way the is not appropriate that is his heart issue not mine. It is not up to me to be sure that every man that looks at me isn't sinning. It is, however, up to me to make sure my husband has something enjoyable to look at when we go out. I am preaching to myself here as much as I am to anyone else. I don't dress nice enough much of the time. Because I am afraid to look good. I was taught to hide under clothes not to use them to enhance my natural beauty.

My husband loves me and loves to look. My God made me and made me beautiful to my husband. Why would I hide under clothes that neither one of us like just to keep him from seeing me? Maybe I need to have more stereotype days; more barefoot, pregnant and sexy days. (Minus the pregnant in a few months)

I want to teach my daughters how to dress in a way that enhances their looks, not downplays them but doesn't overplay them either. No hookers in this house but no nuns either.

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