Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. A day to honor your mother. A day to show her how much you love her and what she means to you. For many mothers its also a day to be disappointed. I have been reading some blog posts on the subject by moms who wish they got something more, more acknowledgment, better gifts, a gift at all, a better card, a big celebration, dinner out and so on.

I get the sentiment behind these blogs but it makes me wonder. Why are we as moms so desperate to be given something on a day that someone, that know nothing about, came up with and gave a name to? Are our children really so rude and thoughtless every other day that a macaroni or fruit loop necklace, a homemade card and a melted candy bar make it all better? Are our husbands so bad at thanking us and showing us that they appreciate us that a dozen roses, a sappy card and something from Diamonds R Us make us feel better about it? If so, I am truly sorry for you but I hope you know that those tokens are no more than than that. Tokens. They don't mean anything if your husband and children don't care the rest of the year.

Mu husband was asking me what I wanted and wanted to do for Mother's Day and I truly didn't know. At first I didn't know why I didn't know but now, after thinking about it, I think I do. My kids make me pictures almost every day. They give me letters telling me they love me. (The 5 year old's have to be read to me since she can't spell yet.) My house is actually being taken over by kid artwork much of which is gifts to me. My husband gives me flowers quite often and tells me daily how much he loves me. He tells me all the time what a good mom he thinks I am and thanks me for it. With everyday being like that why would I need a separate day of roses, cards, candy and overcrowded restaurants for them to pretend to thank me?

Yes, they took me to dinner last night as a sort of celebration but it was real and avoiding the crowd today was part of the gift. And we had lunch with my parents today but it was at a fast food place not a crowded sit-down restaurant.

I say this, not to make anyone jealous or flaunt my awesome family in any way, but to make a point. Why do moms with really awesome families, like I know many of you have, feel the need to whine that they weren't showered with enough stuff one day a year? And do moms that are treated badly the rest of the year really think that one day will make a difference?

You should be treasured all the time by your family. Some of that starts with you and how well you treasure them every day of the year. You know, that whole golden rule thing. But it also has to do with the kind of man you married and the way the two of you raise your children. If dad spends his days treating mom with care and showing her he is grateful for her the kids will do so as well. But if dad is abusive, verbally or physically, the kids will learn that too. Or if he is simply indifferent they will be as well.

I guess the purpose of this post is to ask the question. What do you really want? One day of pseudo affection and obligatory gifts or a whole year of a gracious and thankful family? I know which one I want. And yes, it is nice to be acknowledged, but I don't need a Hallmark holiday for my family to do so. I'll take my housefull of drawings and "letters" and the thanks yous whispered at night by a loving husband as we fall asleep in each other's arms over that fake kind of thanks any day.

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